


Shattered promises

by crazypositive



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asgardian Reader (Marvel), Betrayal, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Female Reader, Friends to Enemies, Kidnapping, Marriage of Convenience, Minor Character Death, Peace, Politics, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Vanir Reader, War, hostage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 05:17:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18986053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazypositive/pseuds/crazypositive
Summary: "I promise to remain your friend for eternity," he said long ago, and he lied, the innocent boy with big green eyes no longer existed, or so you thought.





	1. The promise

Two small children sat conversing under the biggest tree in a castle garden you were too young to know what type of tree it was you were too young to care.

The tree was bare of any leaves, announcing the end of fall and the beginning of the cruelest winter you thought you were ever going to witness. 

" Does that mean we will no longer be friends? "

You inquired drawing a deep shuddering breath, holding his hands tightly, ultimately releasing the tears you held for too long.

Loki shook his head, "I promise to remain your friend for eternity." He pushed the box you rejected earlier to your lap" This is not a parting gift, consider it a witness to our promise."

You looked at the elaborate design of the necklace inside the chain resembled a  thorny vine intertwining towards the pendant that was a crystal clear rose which turned blue when you touched it the color spread through the rose gradually, He gave you a weak smile "Blue, means you are grieving."

You mirrored his smile nodding despite your tears " I do not have anything to offer in return." your eyes were cast down, you despised this you wanted him to stay, perhaps your lack of a proper gift would force him to prolong his stay, you were a child you didn't know any better.

He gave your hands a firm squeeze.

" I must leave now Father is waiting" He stood smiling at you.

 "Wait! I must give you something to remember me by," you said racking your brain, trying to think of something, anything to give to your friend, before you stretched your arms offering him a dagger.

 "My father said he won great battles with this dagger." you smiled Looking him in the eye for the first time since being in his company.

" I will wait here for your return for every first day of every winter to come. "

He nodded hugging you tightly "I will come, I promise."

 

 

*******

 

That was many years ago Loki thought as he looked at the dagger in his hand "are you sure this is your desire Brother?" asked his older brother as he walked from behind standing beside him, Loki who had his eyes closed remained still took a deep breath "Yes it is "

" It is too dangerous, war is upon us to simply go unaccompanied is unwise " he grabbed Loki's forearm as his younger brother attempted to walk past him  " Your concern is moving Brother really " came the latter's response and He walked ignoring his older brother's protests.

 

*******

"Why would my lady choose such weather to read " you smiled at your concerned maid "I will be fine Nanna you worry too much, it is not even cold it's the first day of winter"

Nanna sighed defeated "at least have a guard accompany you, my lady those are difficult times "  you turned to look at your friend "no harm shall come from Asgard, we have a truce with them "

"You would count on a fragile truce, what of the dangers your father warned you so many times of "

You picked your book " He also taught me the importance of one's word he wouldn't seek war with Odin and I know for a fact that all father would do anything to preserve peace so my dear Nanna your fears are groundless."  you said cupping her face

every year you hoped it would be different you always walked to the biggest tree in the garden a tree- you now know to be an ash tree- hoping that it was the day he finally keeps his promise.

You flinched at the sudden sound announcing an arrival from Asgard just then the universe seemed to come to a halt the book you were reading lay forgotten by your feet, tears fell down your cheeks as he emerged and before even realizing it you were running to the arms of an old friend.

*******

A guard ran to the throne room of Vanaheim  out of breath ignoring all formalities he announced " Asgardians, we don't know how many there are " the soldier seemed to mind his next words carefully "Your grace they are in the garden of the ancient ash "

the goblet the king was holding slipped from his hand his eyes as wide as a full moon he shook with rage and pure fear, fear for the safety of his daughter.

*******

"You kept your promise "  you said still in his embrace finally meeting his gaze, his hand moved to the side of your face gently wiping your tears "Of course I did " he whispered looking at you, there was something strange about his expression, but you smiled at him "there is so much I wanted to tell you." your shaking hand rose to touch his cheek his hand followed your own "you'll have all the time in the world" you were about to say something when he spun you around quickly, and you saw your father he had the whole place surrounded you tried to walk to your father to defuse the situation and that's when you felt the ice cold dagger against your throat  and a large hand keeping your own twisted painfully behind your back.

"I wouldn't take another step in my direction if I were you."   

Your father asked his men to stand down he looked defeated, broken and it was all your fault.

You didn't know what came over you it was like you turned into a statue of stone you froze your eyes wide fixed on your father the whole scene played in front of you slowly your father the king was on his knees begging for your release, yet Loki ignored him and yelled to be brought back to Asgard and just like that the desperate face of a father who lost his child was replaced by the cold   golden wheels and gears of Heimdall's observatory.

you stood there frozen.

"Kindly accompany the princess to her chambers "

That was all he said no explanation at all offered.

You remained in the spot the guards left you for a good two hours before the door behind you opened, yet you made no effort to acknowledge who it was they were just there to deliver a meal.

you finally moved sitting on the bed your hand tracing the small scratch on your neck then trailed down to the necklace he gave you, you were stupid you never took it off you grabbed it and shattered it against the closest wall.

As days passed, you came to accept your situation you cried, tears were a constant you haven't seen him since that day in the observatory.

The door of your chambers opened, a guard walked in informing you that the king requested your presence in the throne room you nodded dismissing him.

a maid came to help you get dressed shortly after bringing a golden dress with draping sleeves with her the dress was breathtaking it looked like she was carrying the rays of sun in her hands, but you refused to wear it, you didn't want them to dictate the way you dressed, to defy them you wore the dress you were wearing when he captured you braiding your hair in waterfall style.

You walked your head held high, to your captors you were the image of defiance the image of strength.

You entered the throne room, it was just like you remembered, the elegant columns, the golden throne, and images of Odin's truces decorating the ceiling.

" This isn't a trail, but you are entitled to know why you are here."

the king spoke when you stood in front of him.

" I am here because you betrayed the trust my father and my people bestowed upon you, I am here because you couldn't keep your word-"

Odin slammed Gungir against the floor Cutting you off, " that is perhaps what you think, but it could not be any furthest from the truth."

He calmly continued, "your stay here, will maintain peace, it will maintain order in your home.".

"My father had no intention to wage war against Asgard" you desperately tried to explain, but the king raised his hand demanding silence.

"But he did, sadly. You will be able to leave your chambers accompanied by a guard, at all times."

he dismissed you, and as promised, a guard was walking three steps behind you at least you were finally outside.

you turned to look at the guard, admitting you didn't know your way around, and politely asked him to lead you to the library, though he stiffened when you talked to him he gave you a weak smile and nodded taking the lead, you followed remembering every twist and turn, if you were ever to escape this place you needed to know your way around it.

 

 

The library was vast, it had, all sorts of books imaginable.

You admired the place's high shelves, many books, and painted ceiling you could spend some time here, waste away your days reading.  

You grabbed a book you thought you would enjoy, picked a comfortable chair but something felt wrong, you couldn't read you were confined in your room for weeks by Odin's orders, and reading within the walls of the library, or within any walls for that matter didn't feel right.

The need to be outside overwhelmed you, you turned to the guard whom he told you was named Einer.

"Do you know where is the nearest ash tree? " you should hate the tree now it brought painful memories, but you were desperate needing to see anything familiar.

Einer shrugged like he was stating the obvious "aye Yggdrasil, is an ash tree."

You rolled your eyes, "I meant a smaller ash tree. "

The young man looked thoughtful for a moment before he nodded, "I believe there is one near the western gardens. " 

You closed your book, enthusiastically, got to your feet and gave him the most charming smile you could muster. "will you please take me there. "

the guard chuckled defeated by your childish antics. "of course, my lady." 

 

The sight of the garden took you by surprise, to see that your intended destination mirrored the garden of the old ash tree back in Vanaheim, it copied it in astonishing detail.

 

You circled around the tree taking in the scenery you smiled fondly at the tree, you sat where you'd set back at home and started reading.

 

That was a happy moment, a small moment to cherish, in your stressful situation, and just for a moment, you pretended you were back home, those past weeks never happened, he never betrayed you, and you were still home.

 

It was just a fantasy you were brought back to the cruel reality by the guard standing too close for your comfort, by the untimely arrival of Loki, the man you hoped never saw again.

 

His eyes widened for a fraction of second before it went back to an almost bored look this was inevitable, you were going to see him sooner or later.

Your eyes searched his face for answers, though you lied to yourself for more than you could count saying that you wanted nothing to do with the man, you wanted to know why he of all people ripped you from your home.  

          

You knew you looked sad betrayed and almost pathetic you desperately wanted to ask him for his reasons.

 

There was so much you wanted to say, yet the only thing you could ask was "why?" came out as a whisper, so small making you hate yourself for sounding vulnerable before him.

"Your father brought it upon himself when he was secretly gathering troops."

 

"I didn't realize how short eternity was before now."  you looked at him, your eyes brimming with tears.

he tilted his head in confusion, eyes narrowing realizing, what you meant. "We were but children, our words counted for nothing." he replayed coldly.

You nodded, "Your empty promises once  meant the world to me ."  

"That is your fault, always so trusting."

you snickered, looking away" I only ever trusted a handful, only trusted one so blindly turns out he was the god of lies and mischief, you're right that is where I'm at fault." 

he nodded, walking towards you, eyes boring into yours, his eyes always spoke volumes but right now you didn't want to know what he was feeling, your eyes close containing the emotions that were going through you, anger, pain, and hatred you opened your eyes looking at the man shaking your head smiling sadly " you could have used another dagger."

 


	2. The dagger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, for your kind words, and beautiful support, I hope you find this chapter to your liking.  
> I love your comments and feedback, please help me write a better story I need your opinion <3

  
"You could have used another dagger." That was true, he could, and the fact that he didn't, that he chose the dagger you gave him as a token of your friendship to stab you in the back was what made this hurt beyond imagination.

  
"That would drain the incident of any meaning, were I to use any other dagger."

  
You never looked him in the eye afraid he'd be able to tell what you were feeling, you always felt exposed around him.  


Taking a deep breath, you pushed back your tears, gathered your strength and finally looked him in the eyes, your eyes never flattered from his, not for a moment, his eyes never left yours they were searching your face your eyes, for the sudden change was alarming those eyes which glistened with tears moments ago were looking back at him now with fire and rage.

  
Your sudden transformations, almost baffled him when you were younger, you were always two opposites fused together, you were weak and strong, angry and calm, you were the only person he knew who managed to pull such a deed.  
He was broken out of his trance by your next venomous words. 

  
"Mark my words, Odinson, this shall be our final word exchange, for you are dead to me."

  
something flashed in his eyes and the darting green irises in his eyes stopped moving, locked on your face, for a long moment, he blinked once twice, his mouth fell into a thin line, for only a second before his smirk was back on.

  
Your chest heaved, your thoughts blurred by the primitive urge to hurt the man standing before you, the man taunting you with that stupid smirk, to make him feel your pain physically and emotionally.

  


Loki opened his mouth, most likely ready to torment you, over your child like resolution, but the sound of frantic soldiers running nearby, cut him off, and the announcement soon followed, Asgard defenses were breached.

  


your anger disappeared, quickly replaced by hope that grew within you, perhaps your father sent someone to retrieve you, send you home, but hope was soon demolished by the mere realization that it was just a thief, a thief that stole nothing but Loki's dear dagger, and that according to Heimdall, the thief never left the royal residence.

  


Never in your life have you seen the prince of Asgard so angry before.

  
He tore his chambers apart looking for the dagger, you would be lying if you denied the satisfaction his current state brought you, how you loved his screams of frustration.  
The whole palace was on a heated search for the culprit, every chamber, was searched no room was spared, no stone unturned, but the dagger was gone.

  


Walking into your room that evening seeking the warmth of your bed, was much needed after such a tiring day, five times he searched your chambers personally, using runes and enchantments, to remove the effect of any you might have used, you were not worried you had nothing to fear, you never took the dagger.

  


  
Much to your surprise the moment you opened your drawer that night to retrieve your nightgown, an object rolled down to your line of sight, the missing dagger, you'd know it anywhere, this was your gift.

  
"Beautiful dagger, don't you agree, my lady?"   


You spun around quickly, and a maid was standing by the door, she walked in, carrying firewood, and went on to start a fire like nothing was amiss.  


A shiver ran down your spine, the suffocating silence, the tightness that formed in your throat, as you eyed her every movement.

  
That was it they wanted you dead, they will fabricate a story accusing you of stealing the weapon, perhaps plotting to kill someone of importance, that'll be enough to kill you, without calling the rage of the nine realms upon them.

  


  
Your hand slithered into the drawer and held the hilt of the dagger tightly you were not going to die as helpless as you lived, you will fight till you draw your last. 

  


standing from her task she slowly turned to look at you, "I'm not here to hurt you, my lady." the woman smiled removing the illusions that surrounded her, "I'm here to help you go back home."

  


  
Tears gathered in your eyes, as you recognized her, it's been so long since you saw her friendly face her sharp hazel eyes, her beautiful brown hair.  


Walking toward her in careful steps as if rushing would make her disappear.  


You hugged Nanna tightly crying, 

"I have missed you so much."  


"likewise, my lady."

Your maid smiled at you, but that smile dropped the moment it appeared,

"My lady, we have so little time and a lot to discuss."  


"What of Heimdall and why is this dagger here?"  


"I placed an enchantment, around your room, he won't be able to see us for now, as for the dagger."   


She took the weapon from your hand,

"Tis fitting, that you avenge Vanaheim, with the same dagger Asgard used to betray us."

  
"what would you have me do? kill Loki?"

as much as you hated to admit it saying those words out loud, made your heart heavy with pain, it's like your heart protested to the lie you were feeding yourself this whole time, that you hated the very existence of the dark prince.

  
Heart pounding, your hands trembled as you tried to find the courage to hear her answer, to your relief she shook her head,

" The prince shall feel the pain he forced upon you, him dying will be too merciful, he must suffer."   


you flinched at how her words dripped of pure hatred, and for that moment, your friend scared you.  
Your breath hitched, caught in your throat when she looked you in the eye, her eyes were as cold as Jotunheim.  


"The dagger must wait, you will use it." Nanna placed the dagger in your hands,   
"All in good time, my lady" she closed your palms around it tighter, "all in good time," she repeated, like a crazed man mantra.  


"What are you asking of me? "   


Your voice was frail, shaky and filled with doubt, that would make everything Odin told you very real, that would make your father a power-hungry monarch in a frenzied search for war, and false glory.  


noting how conflicted you must have looked, she hooked a finger under your chin, made you look at her.  


"My lady, you must gain their favor, you must gain their trust, this is your duty, as our princess, as it is my duty to help you through it all."

Her illusions were back, and you found yourself staring at the maid from before she gave your hand one last squeeze before she walked out, leaving you with that burden, conflict, and self-doubt.   


  


You tossed and turned for the majority of that night, it was too much, but it was your father's orders, it had to be for the good of Vanaheim, knowing it would start a new war, is it what he wanted? Was he planning to wage war? but the biggest question of all was, what would become of you.  


It didn't surprise you to hear birds chirping outside, marking the beginning of a day, Naming sleep as a lost cause, you got ready for the day ahead, not waiting for your handmaiden to help you dress, because you couldn't stand the way your reflection looked back at you, with a tired face and a messy hair, it made your broken eyes more pronounced.

  
For the first time since your arrival, you left your room without Einer, who was softly snoring by your door, giving so little regard for the hell that would break loose once they took note of your absence.

  


You made your way to the library, you needed a quiet place to think, to clear your troubled head, that throbbed like a dying star soon to explode before swallowing the cosmos around it. 

  
The doors to the royal library opened, there weren't a soul in sight, a perfect solitude, a safe haven for you and your troubled mind.   


opting to sit down with a book in hand, though you cared very little for the book and its title, you barely read a line.  


Your eyes closed and you focused on breathing, tuning out the world bringing in new voices, the voices of your lost home.

  
When your eyes opened, they were all there, Nanna was rushing frantically between the tables to serve everyone, your father sitting calmly with his meal, hand extended in your direction, a warm smile on his face, the smell of warm bread and your tea filled your senses, a small smile crept to your face.

  
It was breakfast in Vanaheim, a lie you manufactured, to ease your choking heart, you wouldn't cry in front of them, they didn't win, not yet.

The illusion worked perfectly, until you felt a hand circle around your wrist, that wasn't an illusion, that wasn't you, you wanted to hang on to that dream longer, but you had to address reality, you blinked and the fantasy world you built crumbled, chipping away like an old painting revealing the library back in Asgard.

  
His hand was still around your wrist, drawing a pattern with his thumb, fighting the urge to slap his hand away, you refrained.

  
He smirked, "I thought, I was dead to you, yet you reacted to my touch, have you decided to join me in Valhalla?"  
He whispered mockery lacing his words.

  
" You are, and I did no such thing." You whispered back.

  
pretending to forgive him be damned, his touch, made your blood boil.

He chuckled, "Oh dear, but you did, it broke you out of your little fantasy, did it not?"  
You ignored him, going back to your book.

  


"Like it or not, dear one you just broke your oath of silence."

  


You could almost see the smug look on his face, without even looking at him.

  


"I wouldn't be the only one breaking oaths now, would I?" came your cold reply, your eyes still lingering on the first line of the damned book you chose.   
Everything was more interesting than Loki, and his cursed touch that made you feel safe.   


Damn Loki and Damn his touch.  


Though your bickering was in the form of harsh whispers everyone present at the library so early in the morning, was now eyeing the exchange, as the tension filled the air.   


How long have you stayed in that dream, the place was deserted when you first arrived, you thought looking at your audience.   


"Where is my dagger? " his grip around your wrist tightened, to an almost painful extent, bringing you back from your thoughts once more.  


Your eyes followed his slender finger as it dug in your skin, he was keeping track of your pulse, he was searching for lies, his eyes followed your every move, waiting for one slip up, one that would expose you.  
  
"I didn't take it " which wasn't a lie, you never actually took the dagger.  


His eyes narrowed following the slight movement in your throat, as you swallowed.  


" You already searched my room five times Loki," you answer looking at him distraught as you incased your brain in seidr, in an attempt to protect your mind against him, terrified he might know, he might attempt to read your mind against your well. 

  
"I don't believe you." His tone was dry, he was almost out of patience.  


"I didn't take it."  


"Don't lie to me." His jaw was clenched, the grip around your wrist tightened, even more, it was becoming hard to focus on your own seidr, your eyes must have lingered on him for too long.  


Because then he yelled, teeth baring, and eyes glistering "Tell me! "   


Fear took over, Loki was terrifying when he was angry, shaking like a leaf, you struggled to find your voice.  


"I never took it." a shaky whisper, a small breath, a look of terror, and finally tears.

Fear that filled you seconds ago, was replaced by another primitive instinct, struggling as you pulled your wrist from his grasp.  


  


Possessed, that's how you will describe it to anyone, you watched as His face moved abruptly to the side away from you, and you felt a stinging pain on the inside of your palm.   
It all dawned on you so quickly, you just slapped Loki, and it felt ...Good.   


 

 

  


 

 

  


  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”


	3. Words unspoken

He smiled, he should be furious, he shouldn't behave like that, you took a step back, holding the book tighter against your chest.

 

One more step away from him followed by another, uncertain, just like you felt, you kept your eyes on him as you backed away, he didn't make a move his smile didn't change, didn't flatter, and his eyes, his eyes were what terrified you, they held darkness, and something else, something you were scared to interpret.

 

Once you were out of the door, your instincts screamed, and you ran, with no clear destination, your sole desire was to be far from him, as far away as possible, you kept running, and you would have kept running if it wasn't for two strong hands on your shoulders.

 

You stared blankly at Einer, his lips moved, but you couldn't make out what he was saying, he looked alarmed his chest heaved, and bids of sweat were forming on his forehead, distressed, scared, he must have been looking for you.

 

Blinking you tried to fathom, what he was trying to say, his voice got clearer slowly into comprehensible words, "are you well? Milady, please answer me."

 

Words, you were never good with words, they were treacherous, always abandoning you at your times of need.

 

You nodded slowly, your lost voice found for only a minute.

 

"Take me to my room?"

 

you sounded too small, tired, and so scared.

 

Why were you scared?

 

Why were you exhausted?

 

You could barely stand, the very thought of Loki, made you frightened, he didn't scare you, not usually but this time, your whole body protested against being in the same room as he was.

 

Einer nodded, asked no more questions he knew he couldn't console you in such state.

 

You walked alongside him, your trembling hands, clutching his arm for support, Letting the man lead you back to your room, stress seemed to seep from your body, as corridors became familiar. 

 

Why were you in such a state?

 

 Why did you run away from him?

 

 Why were you shaking?

 

What did he do to you?

 

After what seemed like an eternity your chambers were just around the corner, you would finally be able to have a much-needed rest.

 

You remained entirely focused on your steps, your eyes trained on the cold marble floor,

 

You felt Einer stiffen, you tiredly followed his gaze, to the door of your chamber.

 

 

Loki was there, waiting, he glared at the man by your side, if looks could kill Einer's screams would be filling the gates of hell by now.

You approached your room slowly, still supported by Einer, as Loki walked towards the two of you.

 

"You seem to have forgotten your place, guard." he spat the last word, standing directly in front of the other man, towering over him, looking at him as if he was worthless.

 

"I have direct orders from the all father, to keep an eye on the princess."

 

He answered, his voice steady though his eyes weren't sure, his jaw clenched each time he answered the prince, always respectful, but not backing down refusing to be intimidated by the trickster.

 

"Is that so, then where were you this morning?"

 

He shifted at the question, and you felt guilt fill you, it was your fault.

 

"I ran away from him, it's not his fault." you defended

 

"you could have gotten hurt, he knows, he shouldn't leave your side at all times."

He didn't even look your way, he was still attempting to reduce Einer into a speck.

 

"You have my deepest apologies, milady" Einer was talking to you, being acknowledged by anyone left your heart a bit warmer since everyone seemed to think you were invisible, utterly ignored by all he didn't, he took the time to show you the castle. took the time to be your friend, it wasn't at all like the attention you got from the dark prince, who seemed to follow you everywhere you went to taunt you, it was wanted attention, you looked at him and smiled, it was small barely there, but it was genuine.

 

That smile wasn't lost on Loki, his eyes narrowed, and he swiftly, but gracefully pulled you to his side, " leave us."

 

Turning to the loyal guard, you shook your head slowly, subtly, and silently begging him to stay.

 

"Your Highness, you emphasized how I must remain by the princess at all times, it'll be unwise to leave her now."

 

You were grateful for how stubborn the man can be, you truly hated it at times, but at this particular moment, you truly appreciated this irritating trait.

 

"Are you suggesting, that I am a threat to the princess's well being, or perhaps that I'm incapable of keeping her safe which Is it?" his voice rose with the last question, and his grip around your wrist tightened.

 

"I cannot abandon my duty I-" his hand suddenly clawed at his throat, his spear fell bouncing off the creme colored marble his eyes were wide open as he coughed repeatedly struggling to breathe.

Horrified, you watched, as Einer struggled for air,

 

"please stop, don't hurt him." Your pleas fell on deaf ears, Loki's concentration remained fixed on the guard.

 

"Please, I beg you."

 

"You would beg for someone like him." His head turned your way,  and you heard Einer take a greedy gulp of air finally breathing normally again.

 

"Yes, he's a friend " he didn't like your answer, it was clear at least to you that he was struggling to keep his indifferent facade.

 

"You got too familiar with your guard, that would be so improper, unwise, even dangerous."

 

"It is not how you paint it to be." came your defense, you hoped it would sedate his anger, but against all your hopes, it fueled it.

 

Einer stood up still panting, "Forgive me, milady -" Loki's raised his finger, stopped him mid-sentence, "You know not when to stop, the sole reason, you draw your breath still, is my patience, and it's running thin."

You barely spared the guard a glance, "please, leave us, I need to have a word with Loki."

He reluctantly nodded, and with each step, he took away, you were filled with dread and anticipation for what's to come.

For his anger, his retaliation.

 

 

 

"And how do I paint it to be? That you are courting this oaf because that seems like what everyone in Asgard is saying behind your back. "

 

 

Your head snapped in his direction, your eyes were wide, his words shocking, humiliating, and heartbreaking.

 

 

"I'm not."  How dare he say such things, and why were you so affected by his words or why did you feel the need to defend yourself, but you did, and he listened.

 

"I have no one to talk to."

"So you befriend the guard, don't you have standards?" he smirked he was amused, your predicament amused him.

You refused to allow him to have any effect on you, "I befriended you so obviously standards is something I lack."

 

His amused expression dropped for only a second.

 

"It's good to know I'm your friend still."

 

"You are the friend that betrayed me, the one that shattered my heart along with the many promises you made me." you wanted to tell him he wasn't your friend, tell him what you believed to be the truth, but you had to lie, now more than ever.

 

 

"But your friend no less." his eyes held hope for a moment you felt guilty for lying to him, that awful feeling soon demolished when a voice in your head reminded you of his wrongdoings.

 

A nod was all you could do, yet you knew a gesture wasn't enough to convince him.

Adding facts to your lies, made them convincing, easier to remember.

You must earn his trust like Nanna directed, for the welfare of your father, your people, and Vanaheim.

 

"I'm tired Loki, I'm tired of fighting you every time we cross paths, I don't want to fight you anymore." your throat tightened, " And as much as I hate to admit it." your eyes glistened, "you have a duty toward everyone here, you will do everything in your power for the well being of your home." 

You didn't know how much of that last part was directed to you rather than the dark-haired prince.

 

" Yet you hate me for it."

You sighed heavily, biting your bottom lip, his eyes followed every movement, every single one.

 

 

"I don't hate you, no matter how hard I want to loathe you for all eternity, I found myself unable to."

 

That was a lie you reminded yourself a lie shouldn't make your heart skip a beat as it did.

It was normal you were scared you told yourself, scared and your heart was beating wildly because of it, nothing less nothing more.

 

You wanted him dead, You wanted Asgard on fire those thoughts raced into your mind, and left the second you felt a cold hand on your cheek, he wiped away your tears, your breath was caught in your throat, and your eyes froze, fixed on his sea-colored eyes.

This time you weren't scared, you felt a thousand emotion, yet fear wasn't one of them.

His hand retreated, and you almost protested, he walked away as always leaving thousands of questions unanswered.

That moment you didn't feel like going back to your room, you needed a drink.

Though your whole body protested against moving at that moment, you made your way to the ash tree, a wine bottle in hand.

Choosing the garden, scared Nanna would be waiting for you in your room, scared to be alone in there, it was always too quiet, too cold.

colder even than this garden, or the far away Jotunheim, you sat under the ash tree, like you used to do in Vanaheim, you watched as the snow gracefully danced around you to silent music, falling to its destination, where it belonged.

Your eyes were too heavy you wondered what would happen if you fell asleep in the snow, perhaps snowflakes will cover you, you would freeze, die in a  grave of frost.

Is that what you wanted?

To die.

You didn't want to die you wanted to Live, and you knew why you came here, snow always felt like him, it always reminded you of him.

You came here seeking answers you didn't get, alas no one was here to answer.

 

 

Your closed eyes opened, hearing the sound of crushed snow declaring the new arrival, you saw black leather boots and the hem of his dark green coat.

 

Your mind was playing cruel tricks on you again maybe this was real illusions can't leave footprints, on the unfinished painting of winter, you drank too much at that point to care.

He calmly sat beside you," you're unguarded."

"You dismissed my guard." you reminded him.

He nodded, "that I did."

Your head, rested on the tree bark, watching the snow swirling above you dancing to silent music,

 "I've missed you," you admitted.

It wasn't a lie you were barely awake too drunk to tell lies, "I've always wondered what would happen if our meeting went with no incidents."

 

"Your father would have had my head," he chuckled.

"I wouldn't allow it, your head belongs between your shoulders, and attached to your neck, I like it there."

 

You felt his shoulders shaking, and he threw his head back laughing, you haven't heard his laugh in so long you almost forgot how beautiful it sounded.

 

A small smile crept across your face as you wistfully looked at him, "We would talk, for hours, and we would barely feel the passage of time."

"What would you tell me?" he inquired quietly.

"Everything, I would probably comment on how tall you became." you drowsily answered, rested your heavy head on his shoulder and closed your eyes.

He waited, for your breaths to become even he carried you back to your chambers too many words left unspoken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate the feedback I got, thank you all for your lovely comments, I would appreciate every single comment and Kudo you guys leave, they make my day and help me write a better story
> 
> here is a Reply to a comment I deleted by mistake because I uploaded the last chapter twice, I know I'm an idiot, Ys Nanna is based on the myths, and will play a major role in the future chapters. sorry I deleted your comment :(
> 
> Loki Is a bit jealous in this chapter sorry for how long it took me to update, I was busy and overwhelmed.  
> To make this up to you, I will write one shots by request so if there is something you'd like me to write find me on Tumblr 
> 
>  
> 
> [thecrazypositive](https://thecrazypositive.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> and drop your request.


	4. The first reason

You woke up to a rummaged room.

Confusion pure confusion took over, Then a sickening realization sunk in.

 You got out of your bed, despite your body's protests, your breath was trapped in your throat as you opened the drawer that once kept the dagger.

The dagger, you once gifted to the younger prince of Asgard.

Time halted, or it seemed to do so as in the place of the dagger were the gift you shattered against the wall, it shattered you made sure it turned to dust, beyond restoration, yet the necklace taunted you, and the dagger was gone.

With the creak of the door of your chamber, the fear inside you was born a new, surely they know, you had the stolen dagger,  and you were going to use it without a doubt.

Releasing a deep sigh, your slim fingers, traced an invisible line along your neck, where the executioner's sword would almost unquestionably strike.

The deafening sound of footsteps became louder too much for you to bear, yet you made no move.

What gain would any of it do, what good is running when death is inevitable.

The bravest thing you could do was wait calmly for those steps to reach you, for their owner to claim your life, for you to drown in eternal darkness.

 

 

You could hope things will turn out good, but hope was dangerous, and your circumstances taught you to think of the worst at all times, but none of that happened instead the dreadful steps went around the room like nothing was a mess. Pivoting towards whoever those footsteps belonged to, you saw a maid calmly cleaning, a maid you've never seen before, yet her movement, her energy comforting, even the air around her seemed familiar.Keeping your guard up, you continued to watch as she gently placed your dresses back in their rightful place.She picked a wine red dress, with golden  embroidery,  gently placed it on the bed, still not saying a word,  she smiled gently at you, "He tricked you." she mumbled, at first but her voice rose as she continued "Our plan was almost up in flames."You stared at her still baffled,"Our plan?" You were playing the fool, only a fool would trust someone so quickly, and you've been that fool twice now.

She sighed, dropping her disguise a disappointed almost pained look staring back at you, Nanna stood before you too frigid too stressed," we were fortunate I was waiting for you when he came in carrying you, he Drained your energy, he wanted an excuse to be here, he did it with no regard for your safety, or your well being." she hissed "That backstabbing snake, you could have collapsed outside in those freezing temperatures."

The touch on her hand made her look at you study your features, your eyes were downcast, looking anywhere but at her.

You failed her you failed everyone for one moment of weakness, you doomed an entire nation, your nation.

 

"He found it did he not? "

The girl shook her head," You didn't hear what I said, I was present, I prevented that  catastrophe from happening .'

Your eyes searched hers for answers," where is it?"

she walked to the same drawer you searched earlier and picked the necklace, the gift you thought he swapped for his.

 

But you smashed that necklace why was it back , did Loki fix it for you, with that thought your heart skipped a beat, but that thought along with the small fire it started in your heart, was soon extinguished, when Nanna spoke again," I fixed this, and concealed the dagger in one of the petals" she said clasping the object around your neck.

You tried to hide your disappointment, perhaps you romanticized the idea of Loki bent attempting to put the pieces of the gift, he gave you many years ago together.

 

She smiled at you, running her knuckles over your cheek in a comforting manner, a smile tugging at the edges of her mouth.

" As long I'm with you, no harm shall come pass,"

she said getting up from the edge of the bed, shrouded herself in illusions again and left.

Her words were meant to reassure you, they didn't, something felt wrong,  and you didn't want to admit it to yourself.

If Nanna betrayed, you would lose the last friend you had in this world, and you were not ready for that to happen.

 

Your  eyes landed on the dress she picked for you, the colors reminded you of Loki's older brother, you knew what Nanna wanted by picking this dress, she wanted you to join them for breakfast, you lost count of How many times Odin asked you to join them for meals, how many times have you refused the offer, eating at the same table as your captors would give them a sense of kinship, it will make them feel as you have finally yielded became one of them.

Your steps echoed on the cold marble, you could hear your steady breathing, they all watched as you, at least in their eyes  yielded, you choose to sit next to Loki, he was someone you knew, despite everything, your body still sought the comfort of being close to him in your moments of doubt.

His eyes followed you the entire way, wry, confused, and questioning.

 

Slowly everyone went back to their conversations, eyes darting back to you every few minutes.

"You tricked me, again, " you were whispering, but your whispers were harsh, and your eyes were set ablaze by how angry you were.

The trickster chuckled "in all honesty, are you surprised."

you shook your  head "I had hoped, that I still have a friend in you, that hope no longer exists."

"I hope you found what you were looking for,"  you said still not looking at him.

"I regret to say that I did not." he said looking at you his hair falling gracefully past his shoulders," I have found something of a different nature."  his hand slithering around the rose on your neck.

 

 

Your breath, was caught in your throat, you tried to control your panic as he eyed the necklace, "why did you keep it?"

You opened your mouth, wanting to answer him, but your reply remained unstated.

A royal guard ran past everyone, bowed, before his king and with a steady voice, he declared.

"My king, Frost giants are at the gates of Asgard,"

Odin spared his queen a look before his attention was back to the soldier standing before him, "what brings them here?"

the man swallowed the giants had outrages demands, "they demand the bride promised to their prince, or there will be war."

Loki was on his feet his chair, was knocked over, "father, this is ridiculous we can't comply-"

The King, raised his hand demanding silence, "I will discuss this matter in council."

Loki's hands trembled, his knuckles were white as sheets, and his eyes glistened with unspeakable anger, you've never seen him in such state.

Tension, filled the hall, everyone seemed to know about this promised bride, why would they deny the Jotuns what they promised in the first place.

The king, stood up looking first at his wife, then at his two sons, and they, followed him.

Leaving the hall, you couldn't help the suffocating feeling of dread in your chest.

Einer, was at the door waiting, there was urgency in his steps, and he kept looking over his shoulder like he expected to be followed.

He passed the corridor leading to your room, but the guard was headed elsewhere.

"Einer where are you taking me?" your question was left unanswered, but you could see how his shoulders tensed up when you asked.

"Einer, I asked you a question." Keeping your feet rooted to the ground as you stopped following the man, "and, I'm not going anywhere with you unless I get my answer."

 

The guard, sighed, "Milady, the frost giants came to Asgard seeking you."

For only a second, the world stopped before it came crashing down on you, "Odin promised me to frost giants?"

 

"Not the king no, your father milady, it's why you were brought here, to prevent this alliance from ever happening."

Einer didn't appear to be lying he seemed sincere, yet you refused to believe him, there was no way,

"and where are you taking me?"

"I was ordered to escort you, to the docks, you are leaving Asgard Milady."

 

Nodding, you followed the man.

He was moving faster now, he used service corridors, and made sure no one saw you.

Upon reaching the kitchens, he asked you to change the dress you wore into something a maid would wear.

Your silent objection was the questioning look you gave him, apart from that you complied.

Your heart was beating, like a war drum, in your chest.

You couldn't be less informed on your destination, or who gave the order to the guard, all you knew was you were getting away from the giants and away from Odin who avoided conflict at all costs.   

Odin who would give you to them, if it meant the peace continued in Asgard.

 If it meant his people had to suffer no casualties.

   

The blond guard as promised took you to the docks, to a small vassal, where a man waited, his face concealed by a hood, you didn't know who he was, up to the moment he spoke.

"Are you certain you were seen, by no one?"

Your eyes widened with terror, upon the discovery, your hands trembled, "L..Loki" you whispered, turning to the guard, your eyes searching for an explanation, yet he offered none.   

 

Loki boarded the ship, offering his hand, " we have so little time before my trick is discovered."

You stared at his hand, then at his shade-shrouded face, your hand grasped his, and he pulled you onboard.

 

The younger prince of Asgard, cursed under his breath, when the alarms went off, " well, now we have no reason to be discreet." he said looking at you with a confident smile.

He picked up his speed and watched the golden buildings of Asgard disappear in the distance, but then you saw them following, your heart dropped.

 

"Loki we're being followed."

He kept his focus, trying to lose them at every turn, you should panic, be tense, yet you felt none of those emotions.

You felt, entirely out of harm's way,  you just had to look at his face, the flashing red lights and the sounds that kept going off seemed to vanish.

 

Until they fired, your vassal stood no chance against them, you looked back at Loki, he seemed deep in thought, he looked back at you, and you could have sworn you saw a ghost of emotion, one of fear.

"Do you trust me?"

it was a simple question, yet the answer wasn't, you looked at him the world slowly dissolving into this moment.

"Just this once I will."

You answered, and he nodded, wrapping his arms around you, you tensed at the sudden action," We are jumping now."

 

You nodded, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

He counted, gently his feet pushing the floor beneath the two of you when he reached the count of three.

 

The guards watched as the two jumped towards the sea, and after that, they lost all traces of them.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story, leave kudos and comment if you liked it.  
> it always motivates me to write more.

**Author's Note:**

> The quieter you become the more you can hear


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